Service sheet, with links to readings and hymns
Something that we all need as we go through life are people who can offer us wisdom and guidance. Sometimes these are people older than ourselves, who have had to deal with troubles in life already and can pass on wisdom, if we are willing to listen.
One person from whom I have received wisdom is someone I have never met. It is Kirk’s grandfather.
Now if you have been with Kirk much at all, you have probably heard stories about his grandfather — perhaps about gardening, or relationships between men and women, or about right and wrong and concepts of justice, or perhaps just about life.
One bit of wisdom that Kirk received from his grandfather and then told me about has been the guiding philosophy for Kirk and me as we have gone through these past few months of Covid-19.
Kirk’s grandfather was born in about 1908 and so was a young man during the Great Depression and then World War II. He was the oldest of a number of children, but his parents died when he was still fairly young, and it fell to him to care for his siblings, which meant he did not finish school.
And after such experiences, this is what he told Kirk: During hard times, there are going to be two kinds of people at the end of it: those who are happy and those who ain’t. So you better do whatever is necessary to be happy at the end of it. Because the ones who aren’t going to be happy are going to be miserable. There’s change afoot, and you have a choice how to respond to it, and once you make that choice, there’s no going back.
Covid-19 and all the downstream effects on the economy and on the ways we live have been (and still are and will continue to be) life-changing and world-changing. We have a choice about how to respond so that we come out happier and better people than when it all started.
So for Kirk and me, we decided on a few ways to get through these past few months and into the future. I’ll mention a few small ones and then a big one.
One, keep a sense of humor. One cannot live without a sense of humor. One cannot be happy without being able to laugh. That includes laughing at ourselves. Note that many of the world’s leaders, especially those that we might find the most repugnant, are incapable of laughing at themselves. And if we’re going to watch movies, watch things that are light-hearted, not the dark and grim movies that some newspaper recommended for entertainment during lockdown.
Second, don’t watch too much of the news. Perhaps you have heard me say this before. Watch or read enough of the news to know what is going on, and then get away from it. Otherwise, the weight of it can be overwhelming. I did meet someone recently who said he watches CNN for the humor of it, but I think he was old enough and had seen enough in life that CNN wasn’t going to bring him down.
Third, immerse yourself in things of God. That means read more Scripture and pray more. I know I often talk about the advantages of reading the Bible and praying, but that’s only because it is really true. It may not seem possible that a short prayer in the morning, or reading a few Bible passages, can change your outlook for the day, but it can. The reason is that, as Paul says, you are setting your mind on things of the Spirit, and doing this brings life and peace. Or to refer to the Gospel, Scripture and prayer feed the seed of faith planted in us. Without them, Covid-19 and its effects threaten to be like the thorns that choke our faith and our joy.
Before Covid-19 came along, Kirk and I were already reading the Bible lessons each day, and I started the day with a few specific prayers. But after the lockdown started, we began to do more of this. We worshipped each day, we added more specific prayers, we took some classes online, and we started praying for each member of all the parishes by name. We continue to pray for everyone on Sunday, and on each day of the week we pray for people from a specific parish, and we have one list of people in special need that we pray for every day.
And finally, the big one, the big thing that helps us come out of Covid-19 happier and, please God, a better person: be grateful. Be thankful. Months ago, I said in a sermon that there is a connection between gratitude and happiness. The idea came from the writer G. K. Chesterton. He said that the two go together: you cannot be happy without being grateful, and you cannot be grateful without being happy.
But that sounds like a chicken-and-the-egg type of puzzle: which comes first? Happiness or gratitude? I would say gratitude, because we can choose to say thank you. At least for myself, it is easier to catch myself not being grateful and to change that. One can go through the day and find even little things to be thankful for. And being thankful cultivates happiness; it helps it grow.
The opposites of gratitude are a sense of entitlement and feelings of resentment. One thinks one is entitled to certain things, and one is resentful if one does not have them. If you watch the news, keep this in mind as you do: that entitlement and resentment are the opposites of gratitude. My native land has often been in the news these days; it’s a good example.
The Apostle Paul says, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
To be grateful is to set one’s mind on the things of the Spirit. When one is grateful, the feelings of thankfulness are directed toward someone. One can be thankful to a family member or a friend or to a stranger who is done something kind. But God is the main focus of our thankfulness. All human love, all human kindness, has its root in the love that flows from God. All the things we have — our jobs, our homes, our families — could disappear. I think that is one of the very sad lessons and reminders of these past months. We have them simply by the grace of God, and so the proper response is thankfulness, gratitude.
And gratitude leads to happiness, for it makes us let go of ourselves, let go of attempts to control life, and encourages us simply to accept what we have and be thankful for it.
We are still dealing with Covid-19 and all its downstream effects. We will be dealing with it for some time. Again, there will be two kinds of people when we emerge into some kind of new reality: those who are happier and come out better than when they went into it, and those who do not. Remember: gratitude and happiness go together.